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AN ALARM.......memoirs of a petrified soul episode 2

Last night I had this strange dream...one of those erratic bloodcurdling ones that make your blood escape through your veins…there was a unspeakable screaming sound…. an echo that kept blistering though my ears …someone died..

I still remember my friends' departed bashful gigglings and chitchats, those scatterbrained moments about people a long time ago who became muddled distant shadows, dyed with blushing cheeks of a blossoming love & retiring smiles…of our small talk. It was that fresh sentiment itself that sprinkled its fragrance all over…

Life peels our sensitivity as we keep wearing ourselves out like machines, but blazing reminiscences keep us alive. Old pictures turn in to live images & I’m standing in the middle, a clueless child untainted by the dreadful pain of existence.
What’s that screaming though???

I suddenly woke up crying I’M NOT DEAD. I wasn’t scared, but I really thought I was dying, sweat tramping all over my face, my hands shuddering from panic, a blue baffled stripe of terror running though my veins. Am I ready to let go of myself??

How to be the Man of the People…..??

1)Conscience = failure …..Those tiny scruples can ruin your prolific career….just ignore them.

2)Citizens = brainless kids, who definitely need your guidance. This is what I call matriarchy, if they wet their pants, they’re grounded for life. That’s why you should dictate them what to do, because for sure you know what’s good for them better than they do.

3)The street is definitely definitely YOURS. I mean streets are extremely dangerous places to let your kids out these days. Before striding them out anywhere, defence should be speckled all over the globe – NOT FOR YOUR SAKE of course- but for their own precious safety. Think of what could happen to them if they don’t bear in minds your priceless advice- especially that they don’t have any .

Memoirs of a peeled orange...episode 3..based on a true story last semester

What is wrong with that horde of criminals under the disguise of students...? How am I supposed to handle them, seriously, especially those absent-minded freaks, with their drowsy looks and wobbly eyes…come on…too much to tolerate…should I report them? Whenever I witness them, scrappy thoughts of suicide, drug addiction; heroin, joints…whatever damaging thoughts suddenly cling to my mind
I am finicky most of the time, friendly, not the kind of person that screams or yells at students. NEVER, trying to do my best, convincing myself that they might be like my brother after all… (Gotta tell u…my brother might be a little kinky, but not a villain…NO...those are real life villains that banged out of a fright movie) …scrutinizing, freaking crafty looks scanning me all the time.
I don’t question my abilities as a teacher, because I have other classes and we’re perfectly happy together. Yesterday, I was quite enduring and all right from 9 am…till 2…till I really lost it. They were actually having the time of their lives driving me mad….that’s it, I felt the earth swinging around me, all their talks, even the pleas of the only decent human being blundered to shrieks. I picked up my things, scurried out of the class room, switched off my mobile, and burst only a few steps after I descended the stairs…

Prayers of a petrified soul

As I lay in my sullen slumber, my mind kept thinking over & over about the "tied knot". Have I stranded too far from mine? Have I let it go? Did I give up everything that I believed in so easily….?
The two" tied knots" are faith & deeds. I've spent a lot of time to uncover the first, dwelling somewhere in my heart and hold on to it. I don't question my beliefs, but I do question my performance. I've been through utter happiness once before….the feeling of being so close to God, the strength within that shield from sturdy winds, surrendering to providence. But sometimes, it just fades away; your belief is not shaken, but the utter feeling of vigor and contentment disappears for a while. I had tribulations before and I was strong. Why did this change?? Having a little dilemma brings some debauchery within me; a kind of contempt. It scares the hell out of me. Staring at my murky, broken image in the mirror, I try to persuade myself that I'm not petrified, but deep down I know I'm lying….I'm frightened… from my own self....God you're my shelter
" Send forth your light & your truth..let them guide me"

A pillow of winds...Pink Floyd

A cloud of eider down

Draws around me softening the sound

Sleepy time when I lie

With my love by my side

And she's breathing low

And the candle dies.

When night comes down you lock the door

The boot falls to the floor

As darkness falls the waves roll by

The seasons change

The wind is warm.

Now wakes the owl, now sleeps the swan

Behold a dream, the dream is gone

Green fields

A cold rain is falling

Near the golden dawn.

And deep beneath the ground

The early morning sounds and I go down

Sleepy time in my life

With my love by my side

And she's breathing low

And I rise like a bird

In the haze and the first rays touch the sky

And the night winds die.

"potrait of Mario"...Modegliani.... a pounce of emotions